Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982): Seven Shots of Cage [Joey’s Review]

Seven shots from a gunman in a birdmask, and you’re probably dead or rocksalted into a dreamlike state. Seven shots of alcohol and you’re either the life of the party or the guy passed out in the corner. Seven shots of Cage in an 89 minute movie and sometimes that’s all you need.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High is the second credit in Nicolas Cage’s filmography. Cage is on screen for, I don’t know, 25 seconds? He has one line:

He’s so inconspicuous in this role that I missed it altogether. It wasn’t until Mike and I recorded the podcast that I knew he was even in this scene at all. It’s roles like this that prove Cage is a true chameleon who can absorb any shape — even one that’s so invisible, I didn’t even see him. What I DID see, though, is the super sweet high five that he and his bud Brad share:

I don’t know how to export video into GIF format, but trust me: this high five is sweet. Cage and his bud, Brad, go over the top — totally NOT high-fiving each other — then connect on the bottom level.

You may wonder, “Why does he keep using the word ‘bud’? Does anyone actually use that term to refer to a friend?” Good questions! I don’t know the answer to the second one, but I do know the answer to the first: it’s because Cage’s character doesn’t actually have a name in this movie. He’s merely listed as “Brad’s Bud” on IMDb. He’s such a minor character that I didn’t even see his name in the credits on the Blu-ray version I own.

(Side note: Did things almost turn out differently? Yes they did! If you want to hear a true bombshell, check out Mike’s Review of Fast Times, or listen to our podcast when it drops tomorrow. It’s a legitimate bombshell that truly shocked me. Okay, back to our regularly scheduled Cage review.)

Cage’s next appearance comes when he’s walking into school. He tapes an “I’m a Homo” sheet of paper to some total NERD’s back, because this is the early 1980s and it’s still cool to be homophobic:

I have a theory about Cage’s character in this film. It’s pretty much debunked by Mike’s actual, truthful bombshell, but it’s a theory I like nonetheless. On the podcast, Mike points out that Brad and Brad’s Bud (Cage) are dressed almost identically this whole movie. I see that as a sign that Cage, clearly the beta in this relationship (as he doesn’t even have a name), wants to be Brad so badly, going so far as to imitate the man’s physical appearance. Couple that with his overt anti-homosexual nature (i.e. taping an “I’m a Homo” sign to someone’s back) and it’s obvious to me that Cage is in love with Brad and uncomfortable with this reality. He doesn’t want to be gay; he hasn’t embraced it yet. He’s scared, and he acts out.

You know, or not.

Anyway, Cage pops up again mere moments later when Brad is on line for registration. Again, he has no lines (we’ve covered 100% of his lines already), but he’s on screen for the longest amount of time here. It’s clearly Cage, and he’s along for the ride:

It’s at this point that Fast Times decides to continue its actual story and veers away from Cage. He doesn’t pop up again later until we’re at All-American Burger. Brad is the manager, or shift supervisor, or in some position of power. Cage, clearly in love with Brad and unable to be apart from him for even a moment, also works at All-American Burger, as a lowly fry cook/sous chef (lowly in comparison to Brad’s role at the restaurant, anyway). Here he is, cracking an egg:

Here he is, incredulous at the gall of a customer who dares to demand a refund and make Brad look the fool:

After this scene, we once again veer away from Cage’s Fast Times universe. He doesn’t pop up again until the big football game — you know, the one where Forest Whitaker (WHO IS LIKE TWO FEET TALLER THAN EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS MOVIE AND IN PEAK PHYSICAL CONDITION) single-handedly destroys their rivals en route to a 42-0 victory. Look how excited Cage is! He’s got 1000% school spirit!

That picture doesn’t do his enthusiasm justice. He is very into this game.

That’s it for Cage in this film… until the credits! This is another shot that Mike picked out that I missed. Brad, having been fired from All-American Burger and quitting the next job he has because he has to wear a stupid pirate uniform, now works at a convenience store. Brad is locking up for the night. And you know who’s there? I’ll tell you, even though you already know: it’s Nic Cage, aka Brad’s Bud.

Don’t believe me? Look closer!

That’s him in the middle. I promise.

With those screenshots, we’ve covered 100% of Cage’s on-screen time in Fast Times. While the film isn’t a Cage vehicle, it’ll likely wind up being one of my favorite movies of this entire venture. (I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it feels good to say here.) I forgot how much I liked this movie, and I forgot how funny and just plain good it is. Unlike The Best of Times, and unlike Valley Girl (which is up next), Fast Times at Ridgemont High paints a realistic portrait of high school life. It’s entertaining and depressing in all the right places, and genuinely entertaining to watch.

It’s also unsettling, and I’m not sure whether or not that’s the intention. Jennifer Jason Leigh and Phoebe Cates were, like, 20 and 19 when this movie came out. But they play two girls who are 15 or so, which makes their frank sex talk all the more uncomfortable. But it’s also true to life, and the way high school kids talk and act. Fast Times is incredibly entertaining and enjoyable, but I think its genuineness (is that a word? it doesn’t feel like a word, but I’m going to leave it) is what helps it stand the test of time.

Sean Penn is simply the best as Spicoli. He never wears a shirt, he never gets to class on time, or when he does he orders a pizza. He’s top billed in this, but not in the film all that much; he just sort of kills it every time he’s on screen. He does have an arc, though, courtesy of his history teacher, Mr. Hand. Spicoli’s not a bad guy; living life as the system dictates is just a lot for him to deal with. He makes it in the end, though, and that’s all we can ever ask for.

Aloha, Spicoli.

How can I watch it? You’re gonna have to pay for this one. It’s not streaming for free anywhere, as far as I can tell.

What’s up next? On Friday, Mike and I will tackle Valley Girl. We’re headed back to high school with Cage, except this time he’s in love with a girl from the other side of the tracks. Will true love win out in the end? Or will societal pressure ruin their Romeo and Juliet love? Let’s find out together!